April 25, 2017

Selling is Sometimes About Getting Someone to Change Their Mind

The easiest way to change someone’s mind is to fully appreciate their point of view.

selling by being better at pursuading

The best kind of “sale” is the one where you come across clients who are like minded. That said, in some circumstances, you might be faced with the need to present your case to someone who is not of like mind. 

This happens a lot in big business to business transactions where at least one member of the buying team is not on board. It can also happen with a dental patient who doesn’t think they need a certain kind of treatment. 

It can also happen with your child who doesn’t want to do something that is in their best interest. 

So, what do we do? I found this 2 minute video on Youtube that is very helpful.

Key Insights 

  • Presenting your side of the story with logic, reason and facts, in other words, providing information with the belief that once they understand they will change, is not the best approach. It doesn’t work because people don’t change their minds based on the facts.
  • Better approach is to find out what is preventing them from letting go of their position
  • To change someone’s mind you have to be temporarily more interested in their position than in your own
  • To some degree, you may even have to give up some ground and demonstrate that you are willing to change your mind
  • You need to get inside their way of seeing things, and how they fell about it. In other words, you have to listen, not tell.
  • Once you have listened to their position, it is always good to restate their position back to them, and then explain to them your understanding of why they think this way.
  • What we are after is a deep commitment rather than surface level compliance, that ultimately isn’t long lasting.



I have been selling for over 16 years now. When I am at my best I am listening, not talking. When I have failed miserably is when I am talking, and sometimes talking over the person in front of me.

It never serves you well to demand compliance with someone you are trying to build a mutually beneficial relationship with. It is not to say that you will achieve 100% success rates when you go about it the way the video explains, but you will surely “win” at a higher rate than in your previous attempts.

We are all sales people at the core of our every day lives. One way or another, to get done what we need to get done often relies on changing the minds of people who stand in the way. Open up your ears a bit, ask good questions, listen, and the path forward will be revealed to you.

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